Not much time

How to not waste the most valuable thing you have

It’s an age old thing. We’ve all heard our elders tell us how time goes by in the blink of an eye. One day you’re young, healthy, and full of energy – a moment passes – then all of a sudden you’re old and your life has been lived.

It’s a thing of life, time passes fast. It cannot be changed, and therefore shouldn’t be fought.

But, the problem occurs when a wasted life produces resentment, disappointment, and fear. It isn’t all that common to find an older person who is truly content with the life they lived.

Sometimes you come across older people who completely resent the world but, really, they are disappointed with themselves. 

Death marks the end of a life poorly lived and redemption is nowhere in sight.

The thing is, it isn’t completely their fault. Everyone today is misled about what it means to live a good life. We are told that there is a general step-by-step process that we need to complete in order to find “success”. Meanwhile, success can only be defined by the individual himself. 

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

-Carl Jung

One year ago I was working at an Office Depot in Boise, Idaho. It’s safe to say that a retail job like that doesn’t produce the most pleasant atmosphere in the first place, but once you dig into the lives of people there it gets a whole lot worse. 

You don’t realize just how rough life is for some people until you end up working in an environment like that. 

A coworker of mine was almost always at work, and he’d pick up as much overtime as our managers would allow. There were very few times I didn’t see him at work. He was a nice guy – very autistic – but hard working and always willing to help. I asked him more about his family life one day and he went on to tell me that he was forced to work to help his father pay rent.

The rent was so high, in fact, that his father needed to work two jobs and he needed his son to contribute to paying rent too. His family needed him, which kept him from pursuing bigger goals. So, day after day he’d slave away under those florescent lights to keep his family afloat.

But, that’s just a small example of what the environment was like, and you can read more about that story here:

https://www.greatman.com/p/16-bucks-an-hour

Resentment

I met another man while working at Office Depot though – a manager of mine – he must have been in his late 50s or early 60s. He was the kind of manager that everyone gets nervous around. Everything had to be done exactly how he liked it, and if he didn’t like what you’re doing he'd definitely let you know.

You’d look over your shoulder while stocking shelves and meet his eyes staring dead at you from across the store. The annoyed and slightly suspicious look on his face made you wonder if you really were doing something wrong.

It was difficult to work with him since he was so meticulous about how things should be done, which seemed silly since our jobs were pretty useless besides stocking shelves and a bit of customer service.

The level of overall pleasantness increased tenfold when he wasn’t at work.

But, as I began to learn more about him over time, it made sense why he always seemed to be this way. When I got the chance I’d ask him questions about his life, and honestly it seemed somewhat exciting for a while. He rebuilt cars, was in a band at one point, and was a frequent reader of all types of books (both he and I like Louis L’Amour books, so we were able to bond over that).

Every time he spoke about his past it was almost as if you could begin to see the light in his eyes again. 

He was excited and enthusiastic to tell you all types of stories of some of the crazy things he did like frequently running from the cops in a truck he rebuilt. He ran from the police so often that they knew him by name.

In brief moments you’d be able to catch glimpses of the wealth of knowledge he had, and again, he was enthusiastic to share it if you were willing to listen.

Those energetic moments were few and far between however, and I came to realize that he was one of those older people that have come to regret the life they lived and the direction it took.

Now, let me say that I don’t know enough about him to say this with absolute certainty, I’m merely making an assumption based off of how he acted and what he told me. He carried an underlying feeling of resentment of the world, which is something I have noticed from quite a few people nearing the end of their lives.

How to avoid the dead-end road?

Deep dissatisfaction with your life can and will come if you look to the outside world for direction. 

I met a man several years ago who lived with very little in the deserts of the South West of the United States. He doesn’t live a luxurious life by any means, but his vast amount of knowledge in wilderness survival supplies much of the joy he needs in life. 

Had he followed the high school, to college, to dead-end job track he probably would have ended up cursing the world and all things in it for choosing a faulty path.

Our unspoken cultural rules are as follows:

• Get through high school

• Go to college

• Get a degree

• Get a job

• Get married

• Have kids

• Retire

Sure, you could add or subtract a few things according to the aspect of the culture you hang around, but the unspoken rules tend to stay relatively the same across the board.

Never mind the fact that this list funnels you into an incredibly robotic and unintentional life, but you may also notice that it’s all about “getting” or “having” something.

Our culture is completely tied to just Having. Meanwhile, we all forget two other key aspects of life…

Being and doing.

The formulaic track of life that we are all sold minimizes doing worthwhile things and becoming someone. To achieve “success” you’ve only got to do just enough to follow the set track and the rest doesn’t matter.

Who you become, what you do – there’s no strong value set on that…

And, you may find that those who rejected the common notions of our culture and followed their own path through life are often much more joyful, although they are rare.

The focus of their lives was realized when they aimed at doing the things the person they wanted to be would do. All that which they came to have (in terms of material items) was a positive and unintentional outcome of doing meaningful things on their own accord.

As it turns out, Having isn’t the first most important thing, and certainly not the only important thing. Being and Doing (which are often intertwined) come first and foremost.

We all have a choice whether we know it or not. 

We can either follow the world and lose our soul. Or we can find our own path by any means necessary to keep and even enliven our soul.

1 year’s worth of proof

If you would have asked 17 year old me what I wanted to do in life, I would have told you that I had no idea, but, at the same time, I foolishly assumed that somehow everything would still work out.

During my 17th year I was disappointed with myself, and my thinking was centered around Having.

But, once I started The Preparation my mind shifted to aiming at becoming the person I want to be and doing the things I have to do to get there.

It has now been a little over a year since I made the decision to start on my own path. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been my own, and that’s what matters.

Within one year I was able to complete all of this: I took an EMT class (later becoming a certified EMT), significantly increased my competency in chess (I went from 300 ELO which is terrible to over 1000 ELO, which isn’t fantastic, but it’s much better), became a better Spanish speaker, worked two menial jobs, took BJJ classes, attended a wrangling school in Wyoming, completed a copywriting course, read over 50 books, read 35 historical speeches and texts, wrote tens of thousands of words for various personal articles, developed a better understanding of basic economics, learned how to pack mules/horses into the backcountry…

I also learned how to operate tractors, inspect cattle, and shoe horses. Later, I went to a rope rescue course in South Dakota for a week and learned how to rappel, build an anchor, and build different rope systems.

A couple months later I was sent to work on my first wildfire (The Falls fire) in eastern Oregon on night shift for 26 days. Then another fire (Willamette Complex) in western Oregon for another 15 days.

And those are just some of the more notable things.

The thing is, we have so little time and I don’t want you or your kids to end up being the grouchy old man who curses the world even though he willingly chose to follow the herd.

I want you to follow your own path no matter how hard it may be compared to going with the flow and taking the well-treaded path.

Where to begin?

You’ve got to start with an idea – your Why – an ultimate idea worth pursuing over any other.

When you begin to look for your Why, stories will emerge that may reflect who you truly want to be or what you want to do. For example, the story of The Count of Monte Cristo was a major inspiration for me, especially in the beginning.

It’s a story of a man who has it all, is dealt a great blow by an act of betrayal, then the rest of the story is a combination of ascension, redemption, and revenge.

Edmond Dantes, the main character, learns a vast array of skills which aid him on his path. Through suffering he becomes a man of focus, persistence, and sheer will.

Find something like that, something that cuts to your core, and that’ll give you a hint as to which direction you should go.

The hardest part is finding the worthy idea. The second hardest part is following through and executing on that idea. 

“Your masculine gift is to know where you are, where you want to be, and what you need to do to get there.”

-David Deida

If you don’t know where you want to be, what you want to do, or who you want to be, you need to do everything in your power to figure it all out. 

A simple story helped me figure it out. Who knows what could help you.

This topic requires much more coverage and detail to be able to aid you properly. Stay tuned for part two…