Monday, January 19th, 2026
Writing to you from Chiang Mai, Thailand
I fell off the map for a few weeks…
It seemed like every time I tried to write a weekly update from Japan there was something planned or better things to be doing — usually it was both. After missing two weekly updates I figured that I might as well wait until the trip is over to release an update that covers all 3 weeks. Time was best spent being there instead of writing about it.
Now that I’ll have a strict schedule training Muay Thai here in Thailand I can tell you all about the trip, as well as what the rest of this Cycle will look like.
Stepping into a New World
My fiancée kept joking about how I’d say “Can you believe we are in Japan?” every 30 minutes at the beginning of our trip. I couldn’t help but say it. Everything was different — the culture, the people, architecture, customs, food. Not only was it different, but it was admirable.
For the first time in God knows how long I was truly impressed with a place.
I think that those who go to Japan with the right mental framework feel an almost gravitational pull to fit in with the culture as much as possible, to be respectful at all times, and to try hard not to disturb the surrounding ecosystem. Of course, the few who try to do it right get crushed by the overwhelming majority of typical tourists (who certainly taint the view of all foreigners) but I’ll get into that later…
Anyway, besides the exception of the strange anime bar we happened to stumble into everything was very pretty, clean, and surprising. We hardly saw a piece of garbage, the were people respectful, the architecture and subway stations were often elegant and enjoyable to be in and around. It was the first time in nearly a decade that I had been pleasantly surprised by a culture and, not to mention, a city. Tokyo was my favorite part of the trip.
Walking.
We must have hit around 65,000 steps while in Tokyo. Usually we were walking aimlessly to get as much of a feel for the city as possible — seeing Shinto shrines, Buddhist temples, one Catholic church, a few parks, and impressive subway stations.
Our goal was to observe.
My personal goal was to have a solid understanding of many of the basic cultural practices (i.e. gestures, language, behavior). My fiancée, being half Japanese, cut the learning time down to about half because I could ask her question after question about Japan. It was nice not having to figure some of those things out on my own.
We spent a lot of time talking about the culture and any time I observed somebody doing something I didn’t understand (example: bowing before entering through a Torii) I could ask her and she’d tell me all about it…or used Google for support when needed.
Noticeable Differences
Of course, I wasn’t only shocked by the beautiful temples and other aspects of the environment, but I was also intrigued by the cultural norms.
Let me list off a few:
Wash your hands before entering a temple (wash each hand individually)
Bow, clap twice, and bow again when standing in front of the temple
Talking about death, politics, worldly events, and other contentious things is seen as off-limits (sometimes even among friends and family)
Take shoes off and wipe any wet umbrellas before entering a home or hotel in order to preserve the cleanliness of the room
There is a clear hierarchy of status and age. Those of lower status (an office worker for example) or of lower age (a son or nephew) are expected to show very obvious signs of respect — bowing lower, showing gratitude, giving up seats on the train or bus…
Don’t stare
Talk quietly
Don’t take phone calls in close quarters (bus, train, etc.)
We saw every one of these cultural norms in practice over the course of the trip, but what was even more interesting were the many chances we had to directly interact with locals, family, and friends.
The Locals
When was the last time you ran into someone who seemed like they actually gave a damn about their job?
Before going to Japan I could hardly recall the last time I ran into a stranger that really did care about the work they did. I’m not talking about someone who’s passionate about their non-profit work and desperately trying to save the polar bears from melting icecaps. No, I’m talking about someone who enjoys the effort of good form and function in their work.
Perhaps that quality really is so deeply ingrained in the Japanese people.
Let me tell you…on one of our first days in Japan we walked into a convenience store, grabbed coffee and snacks, set them down on the counter, and watched as the worker was rushing to make sure we got the receipt and bag of snacks as soon as possible. It sounds funny, but he did it with speed and intention.
On the way out the doors we looked at one another and said, “Dang, that guy was on it.”
Later on, while we were in Osaka, my fiancée’s aunt brought us (very graciously) to a five star restaurant in a luxury hotel. It was unnecessary, but greatly appreciated. In Japanese fashion she wanted to show us the best — putting lots of time and effort into making our time together in Japan as best as it could be.
Anyway, at the hotel we were seated in a line in front of the chef who was going to be cooking several courses for us. All the while, the waiters were constantly keeping an eye out for any empty glass, any potential needs, or any dishes that needed to be taken away. The chef cooked several fantastic courses (including Kobe beef) quickly while also occasionally keeping us entertained with conversation. And, on the way out, the chef and hotel staff walked us to our elevator, bowing and thanking us continuously until the doors closed.
As another example we watched a rope rescue demonstration at a fire department with some friends. In the video below you can see the display of great technique and good rope skills.
From the top down — convenience store worker, Michelin star chef, CEO, or garbage man — they (generally) show conscious effort, intention, and gratitude. Not through words, but action.
Family and Friends
I had never met my fiancée’s Japanese friends and family until this trip. To be more specific, I hadn’t met her aunt, grandfather, or her family friends. In the past two years I had heard a lot about them all, but to see people in the flesh is a whole other thing.
There’s no need to go in detail about it all, but it’s worth going over the incredibly warm welcome I received (and the warm ‘welcome back’ my fiancée received) upon seeing them.
Both family and friends met us at places that were convenient for us. They showed us around. Took us around to eat good food…at one point they even ordered from 4 or 5 different restaurants to make sure we could eat all of our favorite Japanese food. They asked us question after question and were very interested in our responses. They gave us money as a gift for our engagement.
They went over the top. I can’t say for sure that I’ve every experienced that from anyone I had just met.
It was yet another testament to the culture.
New Experiences
Both of us had lots of new experiences on this trip, but two stand out.
Due to my fiancée’s great planning we headed into the mountains of Nagano, Japan to try something she had never done before. She was happy and excited (as she usually is) but she was a little nervous to try this out…especially once we were staring up the from the bottom of a ski hill.
I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something like, “Oh boy.”
She booked a coach for a 2-hour lesson, which was a good call. It made the learning process a whole lot smoother for her and (unfortunately) I don’t think I would have been a good coach for this occasion…
But, she did pretty good for her first time. She’s a fast learner.
I was, and still am, impressed with how she did. I haven’t asked, but I think that she’ll want to do more skiing in the future. We shall see.
You can check out her post about it here:
On the other end of things, we went to Kaga, Japan to check out an Onsen. Now, if you don’t know about Japanese Onsens let me tell you a little about them: They are hot springs and, per tradition, you are supposed to get completely naked before entering the men-only or women-only pools.
Well, my fiancée was making fun of me for not wanting to get naked in front of a ton of old Japanese men. To be fair I was being a baby about it for a little while. Then I realized that if I didn’t go then I might not ever go.
So I went and guess what?
I was the only one in the Onsen, sitting in a nice outdoor pool, and watching the snow fall in the mountains of Japan.
Yet another small example of why you need to do things that make you uncomfortable.
Rotten
The thing about walking aimlessly around new places is that you get to see everything. The good. The bad. The ugly. Now, let me be clear here…I saw an overwhelming amount of good, but we did see a few noteworthy things.
Get mad at me all you want, but every rude or absolutely suspicious person we saw spoke Spanish, Hindi, or some African language. I’ve gotta say, no matter where you go cultures are being destroyed by people who come from garbage cultures. It’s destroyed Europe and has become an ever-increasing problem in the US.
I’m telling you, every suspicious person we saw were Indian or African. Oftentimes, they would wear hoodies, stand on street corners watching people, and literally walk around like they were trying to do something bad.
So, needless to say, Japan seems to be at the beginning of a potential crisis.
To be frank, they should not allow anybody from Africa or India to enter the country. They (generally) disrupt — and take advantage of — the people and culture.
Disagree with me? Watch this video below. It may change your mind.
Every Japanese person I spoke to about the Africans and Indians in the country had nothing good to say about them. They don’t want them there and they have no desire to pander to an ideology that imports low IQ barbarians into their country of general peace and order.
The only question is how far they’ll go to kick out bad actors.
Hopefully they go all the way. Japanese culture isn’t fragile or particularly easy to completely route. However, I just don’t want to see their culture swirl down the drain like so many others. I’ve come to appreciate it. In fact, I appreciate it so much that if they went to the extreme of banning all foreigners from the country (yes, including myself) I’d be happy because I’d know that the good aspects of the culture would be preserved.
Thankful and Moving on
Lets get back to the good stuff.
I have to say that I’m very thankful for my fiancée for more reasons than I can count, but also for planning a great trip. She did it all. All I had to do was be there.
We went there to see family and friends and spend time together in a unique place before parting ways for a short time. She did a great job with it all and I’m more thankful than I can describe.
But, now I’m in Thailand to train Muay Thai for nearly two months to complete the Fighter Cycle of The Preparation. I’ve already completed 2 classes. This is by far the most intense physical training I’ve ever done, but you’ll hear more about that soon. To fill the gaps between training I’ll be taking the required academic courses and doing the required reading as well.
I’ll be leaving in early March.
Reading
Finished reading The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi
Finished reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Are these updates informative? Are they useful? Entertaining?
Leave a comment below if you’ve got any suggestions or questions for me.
And don’t forget to send this to someone who might benefit.
I’ll see you next week.
-Maxim Benjamin Smith
I am acting as a guinea pig for a program which is meant to prepare young men for the future. This program is designed to be a replacement for the only three routes advertised to young men today - go to college, the military, or a dead-end job.
All of these typical routes of life are designed to shape us into cogs for a wheel that doesn’t serve us. Wasted time, debt, lack of skills, and a soul crushing job define many who follow the traditional route.
This program, which we can call “The Preparation”, is meant to guide young men on a path where they properly utilize their time to gain skills, build relationships, and reach a state of being truly educated. The Preparation is meant to set young men up for success.
What appeals to me about The Preparation is the idea of the type of man I could be. The path to becoming a skilled, dangerous, and competent man is much more clear now. I’ve always been impressed by characters like The Count of Monte Cristo, men who accumulated knowledge and skills over a long period of time and eventually became incredibly capable men.
Young men today do not have a guiding light. We have few mentors and no one to emulate. We have been told that there are only a few paths to success in this world. For intelligent and ambitious people - college is sold to us as the one true path. And yet that path seems completely uncertain today.
We desperately need something real to grab onto. I think this is it.
I’m putting the ideas into action. Will it work? I can’t be sure, but I’m doing my best. I’m more than 60 weeks into the program at this point. So far, so good.
You can follow me along as I follow the program. Each week, I summarize all that I did.
My objective in sharing this is three fold:
Documenting my progress holds me accountable.
I hope these updates will show other young men that there is another path we can take.
For the parents who stumble upon this log, I want to prove to you that telling your children that the conventional path - college, debt, and a job is not the foolproof path you think it is.
Tell it like it is! Sometimes the truth hurts but it's the truth so let it be known.
I didn't realize until now… You are traveling with your fiancé?